Saturday, February 25, 2006

My AGENDA

My *AGENDA*
[you know, that thing we all have and get defensive about?]

Okay, here’s how I wound up finally getting a blog. I have always been the type to have an opinion and then voice it, even when it isn’t asked for. My experience around that has evolved into what I call the ‘AGGGHHH’ effect. I highly recommend developing an AGGGHHH effect of your own if you’re looking to get your friends to stop asking to borrow your stuff, have your mother beg you not to call, get your boss to avoid you for a change, etc.

I also seemed to have always had this tendency to put things together and come up with ideas that were a tad out of the mainstream thinking; and of course voice them even when it wasn’t asked for. My experience around that has developed into something in me that I call a ‘Cassandra Complex’.

Cassandra was this chick who lived in Troy during that whole beef with the Greeks over Helen.  I think she was Paris’ sister or something.

Anyhoo, she had the gift of foresight or prophecy or whathaveyou, but like all other gifted mortals in Greek historimyth, she pissed off some god or another who cursed her talent. Every time she had a vision of something that would or could happen, nobody believed her. Even when she could say ‘PFFFT – toldyouSO!”, she’d be dismissed with a wave of the hand no matter how often she got proven right. So when she went around telling people to make tracks-get the hell outta Dodge-the Greeks are gonna kick our butts, nobody listened. I’m sure most of you guys know how that story ended, even if you did fall asleep during the movie.

I’ve got a few of these kind of moments but here’s a quick sample; when I was ten, I remember getting into this big discussion (actually I broke down with tears of frustration and shouted my part) with my mother, step-father, aunt and uncle, over what human beings do to the world. One of the things I threw out at them was “one of these days we’re even gonna put army bases on the moon!”  I think it was at that point that, after they laughed at my fantastic imagination, they told me to go in the other room and watch tv. That was in 1970.

I think it was 14 (?) years later that Ronnie introduced the whole Star Wars program and sure enough, that was one of the possibilities that were mentioned. I just couldn’t resist the temptation so when I read about it I pointed it out to my mother and step-father. After getting ‘that’ look I heard, “you’re crazy, nothing like that ever happened, you dreamed that up, go watch tv – or better yet, go get a better job!”.

Grrrrrrrr.

In 1977, I was in high school talking with some friends and explaining why I had a fear of computers. Yeah, I thought it was kind of cool, but the idea that computers could hold ALL kinds of information, and could process it and share it with whoever knew how to push a few buttons scared me. I didn’t like the idea that information about me (because of course, that’s who it was all about) could be collected and given out to whomever.

My friends gave me ‘that’ look then replied to my obviously paranoid delusions;
They, “First off Annette, that information would have to be entered in somewhere...”
Me, “Every time people do bank stuff or file taxes or stuff, their information goes somewhere.”
They, “Do you know how many people there are??? How could they keep track of all that?”
Me “All of that could be attached to your social security number when you get one!”
(Note: back then, you didn’t have to get one until you started working – now you get one when you’re born)
They, “And HOW would the computers be able to talk with each other – they’d all have to be connected somehow! How could they do that???”
Me, “Well, we’ve got phones connected all over the place. They could use the phone lines…”
About here I was waved off, handed the joint, and the conversation went somewhere else. I think it was around 5 (?) years later when some high school kid used his home computer to hack into the Pentagon’s data base.

So now, fast forward to about a year ago; while at the job, a couple of co-workers and I were having one of those over-the-cubicle-wall chats about how everything they tell you one minute is bad for you, the next minute they tell you is good for you - in ‘officially’ recommended doses, of course.

Having a flair for raising a conversational ante, I eventually (and calmly) came out with “I can’t wait until they start telling you that smoking and/or nicotine is somehow good for you. That’ll be a hoot!” This idea was received with guffaws and happy-go-lucky sarcasm. But as often happens with me, once I found this new track in my mind, I couldn’t resist following it.

“Think about it, there’s not much that they haven’t screamed about being bad for you and now they say the opposite: and a few things they drummed into your skull that was “good for you” like margarine and now they’re quietly retracting on that… why not cigarettes or tobacco? Hell, they already use nicotine in gum.”

“Exactly, Annette! They use nicotine in gum to help people *quit* smoking, because it’s BAD for you. Get it?” Well, yeah, I got it, but I wasn’t convinced that I didn’t have some ground for my argument; so now to the present.

I am a cigarette smoker. At one time I was a non-smoker for a little over 3 years and I found that I enjoyed certain aspects of that lifestyle (like not sweating about running out of cigarettes) but found that I missed it and began smoking again.

Almost everyone I know tells me that’s because I’m addicted, and I don’t choose to argue that (not with my history on other substances I don’t). Yet just for record, after I realized I wanted to smoke again it took a week for me to buy a pack of cigarettes, and then another two weeks of just keeping them in my backpack while I considered why I wanted to. Finally, I just decided, yes, I wanted to smoke, and did. That was about 8 years ago.

It’s been over 4 years since 9/11; around 3 years since the conception and implementation of Homeland [in]Security; over a year since the ban on smoking in restaurants and bars in my state; about a month since the legal/illegal surveillance issue came to the surface; and now Row vs Wade is up on the block again. These are the things that come to mind as I write, just a few of the incidences and issues I observe evolving from day to day. Sometimes it’s a little scary because, you know, what does one do with stuff like this?

Well, *this* one has a tendency to get curious and whether or not it’s intended, winds up finding trouble. So guess what. There ARE studies that suggest there’s a benefit to cigarette smoking and no, they were NOT funded by the tobacco industry.

Before you tear me a new one, let’s get something clear; I’m not interested in telling anyone to smoke anymore than I’m interested in telling anyone not to. This is NOT an endorsement for anyone, especially underage people, to pick up any type of tobacco use. As far as I’m concerned that’s your own damn business once you’re old enough to get thrown out of the house.

And no, I am NOT a front man for Big T. In fact, I’m a private individual who has a huge attitude with that industry for compromising tobacco products the way I have a huge attitude with the agricultural industry concerning GMO foods, the way I have a huge attitude with Big Ass Industry (B.A.I) in general.

Ah, here’s a thought; you know what seems to be the most important lesson learned by the US government regarding the experience with Big T? Don’t have B.A.I. reps swear an oath before testifying before Congress; it gets too embarrassing later on. Lucky break for Exxon-Mobile et al, eh?

When I figure out how to do this (still getting over my past hesitancy about learning computery stuff) I’ll provide a link to where I found the info I mentioned. It’s originally from the CDC so if one goes to their website directly, it’s kind of difficult to navigate to find the studies you’re looking for. Or perhaps that’s just because I’m still not that web savvy. In any event, originally I was looking for something else – some kind of smokers’ rights advocacy group, and studies that specified how much of the toxicity was caused by the tobacco and how much of it was caused by the additives.

In this last week, I’ve found more information than my poor gob of grey matter can digest at one sitting. In the process, I’ve also found some support, and I think with that, a little hope. Not just in terms of my rights as an adult who chooses to use tobacco products – but in the idea that yes, other people do still believe in the rights of the individual and that no matter how many things can divide people (and Lord knows that’s a lot of things) there’s always at least one thing we can find as common ground. Thank God that once we’re done getting along for the day, we can go home and rest from the effort.

So that’s how I wound up getting a blog. I tripped onto this Blogger site in my travels and decided, what the hell? At least here not only do I have a chance to speak my mind(s) but the potential audiences can choose for themselves as to whether or not they hear me out. And without having to run in the opposite direction screaming “AGGGHHH!”

Intro

Over the years, I have often heard this particular phrase applied to me, “You think too much”.

I have also heard, “Oh no, not again”, “Can’t you just let it go???” “Um, I have to leave now…”, and of course the ever popular, “Good point, but what can you do about it?”

Now, the concept of ‘thinking too much’ confused me for the longest time. Think too much? Don’t most of us think too little? Yet I have begun understanding that yes, it IS possible to think too much. In my case, I find that too much thinking often leads to too much seeking, too much finding, too much talking, too much hearing, too much overwhelm and finally, too little action.

And that brings me to ‘what can you do about it?’ The truth is, lots. I believe that the saying ‘you can’t fight city hall’ is untrue. We can fight city hall. We may not win but we can certainly fight. What I find I cannot fight is apathy either in others or myself.

So, when I’m feeling apathetic, (or depressed, or unmotivated, or uninterested or just plain exhausted) I allow myself to fall down psychologically as it were, and sometimes physically too. Which means there may be long periods of time where nothing new appears on this blog. But that’s why a comment link is provided isn't it? - so that when I’m busy hiding under the covers, everyone else can visit, write, brawl and leave.

As for the name, I have a way of looking at things – well, one of many – that I call my fulcrum philosophy. If one side of anything has been firmly embedded for a while, it will take more weight and/or energy applied to the opposing side to get the sucker to budge, hence the occasional necessity of extremes.

However, that can result in a sudden slam into the ground of the opposing side, nestling it into a form-fitting crater; or in too much weight being added and left to sit. Either way the newly landed end becomes as lard-bottomed as the previous one was, and that in turn perpetuates both imbalance and stagnancy.

The trick is that once momentum has begun on one end, there must be maneuvering towards the middle so that the extreme does not become the norm. Those Bambi-on-Roller-blades times are not often graceful nor easily maintained and sometimes unsuccessful, but when weight and energy are complimentarily present, there is both motion and balance.

I use this philosophy to explain my views on politics, economics, societal evolution (or the hope thereof), health and medicine, relationships, human behaviour, and why I don’t get on seesaws with small children. It’s how I understand the world and how I approach it.

In looking it up in a dictionary to reassure myself that I was using the word properly, I found out something interesting. The word comes from the Latin ‘fulcire’ meaning ‘to support’ and most often refers to something that props or supports (that part I knew). It also refers to connective tissues in human anatomy and hinged anatomical structures in zoology. One more definition I found was “An agent through which vital powers are exercised”.

That last one gave me a special tickle!

As for the ‘Freestyle’ part, well, first off, I liked the alliteration. But just as important was what I hope to engender in myself and in the environment of this blog. Everyone is a fulcrum of some sort; a support, a prop, a pivot point, “an agent through which vital powers are exercised”. I believe that free flowing thought and its exchange is very vital, and when grounded in reason (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) very powerful.

And of course, I liked the alliteration.

So, here I am, wacky thinking and all. Conspiracy, collusion, common sense, uncommon sense, theology, psychology, philosophy, public policy, and no doubt a touch of whining and a whole lot of venting. I bet you feel at home already.